♈️ Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Aries, you’d wake up, buy a Lamborghini in every color, and race them all before lunch. You’re blowing the money fast, loud, and with no regrets—because in your head, you're doing it for the plot. By the end of the day, you're base-jumping off a private jet, obviously.

♉️ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Taurus, you're booking a five-star spa, hiring a private chef, and importing Egyptian cotton sheets just to nap better. Your vibe? Rich, rested, and unreachable. You blew the whole budget on comfort—and you’d do it again.

♊️ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Gemini, you just bought a podcast studio, ten burner phones, and a ticket to every city your ex has ever lived in. You’re not spending money—you’re living out a storyline.

♋️ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Cancer, you’re buying a beach house just so your friends can come cry in peace. You’ll spoil everyone you love, then cry yourself to sleep in a $4,000 silk pajama set.

♌️ Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)

Leo, you’ve rented an entire amusement park and rebranded it with your name. You’re also shooting a music video, even if you don’t sing.

♍️ Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

Virgo, you just hired a full team of assistants, bought a label maker made of gold, and launched a start-up with a 43-tab business plan. You said “this is an investment,” but you’re also lowkey doing everyone's taxes for fun.

♎️ Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

Libra, you’re throwing the chicest rooftop dinner party for all your exes so you can finally get closure… in designer. You bought every luxury perfume Sephora sells and tipped every barista $1,000. It’s giving elevated chaos.

♏️ Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

Scorpio, you paid off your own debts, then bought your enemies’ debts too—just to hold it over them. You also funded a secret bunker and a lie detector machine. You’re rich, powerful, and terrifying.

♐️ Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

Sag, you bought 8 plane tickets and a jet ski in a country you can’t pronounce. You’ve got no plan, no return flight, and a GoPro strapped to your forehead. You’re giving “rich travel vlogger meets chaos demon.”

♑️ Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

Cap, you invested the entire 24-hour fortune into a diversified portfolio and opened a fake shell company just for the tax breaks. You’ll be rich after the 24 hours too—because of course you planned ahead.

♒️ Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)

Aquarius, you just funded a think tank, bought a telescope, and donated $3 million to a conspiracy podcast. You’re rich for one day and immediately turned into a weird billionaire who talks about “saving humanity” but doesn’t explain how.

♓️ Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)

Pisces, you bought a castle in Scotland, adopted 11 pets, and hired a harp player to follow you around. You’re romantic, delusional, and now somehow broke and barefoot on a yacht. Iconic behavior, honestly.

Johnjay And Rich