♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Your holiday delulu level is believing you can host, shop, travel, AND relax… all in the same week. You’re operating on pure candy-cane adrenaline and unrealistic optimism. But honestly? You might actually pull it off.
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20)
Your delulu level is thinking “the holidays will be calm this year,” while simultaneously planning a 12-hour baking day and refusing to leave the couch. You want cozy peace AND zero responsibilities. Pick one, babe.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)
Your holiday delusion is believing you’ll keep your plans simple… meanwhile you’ve said yes to seven parties and promised to bring appetizers to all of them. Your social battery is laughing at you.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
Your delulu level is expecting everyone to behave, get along, and magically understand your emotional needs without you saying a word. You’re building a Hallmark moment in your head — and getting mad when people don’t follow the script.
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
Your holiday delulu is imagining you’ll make a “simple, chill” celebration… but your version of chill involves a photoshoot, coordinated outfits, and at least one sparkly moment. You are the holiday.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sept 22)
Your delusion is thinking you can plan the “perfect” holiday — no chaos, no drama, no miscommunication. Babe… families exist. Embrace the mess just a little.
♎ Libra (Sept 23 – Oct 22)
Your holiday delulu level is fully believing you can please everyone. You’re trying to balance friends, family, events, and feelings like you’re running a seasonal diplomacy program. Something has to give — and it’s not your outfit.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Your delusion is expecting to stay emotionally detached during the holidays. Spoiler: one cozy moment or meaningful gift and suddenly you’re writing someone into your 2025 future.
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Your holiday delulu is thinking you can travel, party, flirt, and bounce between events without crashing. You’re saying yes to everything like December has 80 days in it. Pace yourself, legend.
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Your delulu level is believing you won’t work over the break. You say you’re taking time off… but your brain has at least five Google Docs open in the background. Try resting like it’s a job requirement.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Your holiday delusion is thinking you’re “above the holiday chaos” — meanwhile you’re lowkey spiraling about gift lists, plans, and too much human interaction. You’re not immune… you’re just weird about it.
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
Your delulu level is believing your holiday will play out like an aesthetic Instagram reel — soft lighting, perfect vibes, zero stress. Reality will not be that, but you’ll still find magic in the mess.