♈ Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19): You overshare immediately. If someone says “hi,” you’re already telling them about your childhood trauma and your ex’s red flags. You call it honesty — we call it emotional speed-running.
♉ Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20): You keep it cute until you’ve known someone for a while. Then suddenly, you’re trauma-dumping over brunch and apologizing mid-bite like, “wow, I don’t usually open up like this.”
♊ Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): Overshare? Baby, it’s your brand. You’ll tell your life story to a stranger in a Target line and somehow get their number by the end.
♋ Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22): You don’t overshare — you emotionally monologue. One story leads to tears, then to nostalgia, then to you texting your ex “just to check in.”
♌ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22): You don’t think it’s oversharing if it’s entertaining. You’ll tell a deeply personal story but deliver it like a TED Talk with hand gestures and a moral at the end.
♍ Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22): You keep everything locked down tighter than your Google Drive… until someone earns your trust. Then you go from mysterious to “here’s my entire medical history.”
♎ Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22): You overshare accidentally while trying to seem relatable. You’re like, “yeah, I totally get that” — and then suddenly you’re trauma-bonding in a Starbucks line.
♏ Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21): You’d rather die than overshare. But you love when other people do — you’ll sit there collecting everyone’s secrets like FBI files and say, “wow, that’s crazy.”
♐ Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21): You overshare and call it “storytelling.” You think you’re hilarious — and to be fair, you kind of are — but your friends are like, “why do we all know this much about you?”
♑ Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19): You’ll never overshare in person, but your close friends have seen one meltdown text that could’ve been a novel. You’re private until you’re not.
♒ Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18): You don’t overshare — you over-intellectualize. You’ll trauma-dump but disguise it as a TED Talk about “human connection.”
♓ Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20): You overshare like it’s your love language. You think you’re bonding, but everyone else is still processing your third emotional plot twist.