Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Aries, you overdo the dramatics. You act like everything is a Marvel-level emergency—even when it’s just someone breathing too loudly near you. It’s okay to chill… no need to crash out at a Panera.
Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20)
Taurus, you overdo the lounging. Every couch becomes a trap. You sit down for “five minutes” and suddenly it’s 8 hours later and your Amazon cart has 42 items. Including a robe you’ll never take off.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20)
Gemini, you overdo the oversharing. You’ll trauma dump, flirt, and confess your deepest fear—all in the same breath. To a Starbucks barista. Who just asked for your name.
Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
Cancer, you overdo the caring. Like, aggressively. You’ll check in on someone 47 times in one day because they sneezed once. You are the emotional support friend. And you will die on that hill.
Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
Leo, you overdo the main character energy. You walk into Target like it’s your red carpet premiere. You pause for imaginary paparazzi. Your shopping cart has nothing in it—just vibes and ambition.
Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
You’d get canceled for pretending to be super chill in group chats, only to secretly judge everyone’s grammar, outfit choices, and time management. You micromanage every detail of a trip you didn’t even organize, then spiral when things don’t go your way.
Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
Libra, you overdo the people-pleasing. You’ll say yes to five different plans at the same time and then spiral because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Meanwhile, you’re triple-booked and emotionally crumbling in a corner.
Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Scorpio, you overdo the intensity. Every interaction feels like it could lead to either a marriage or a murder. It's giving romantic thriller—and you're the plot twist.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Sag, you overdo the disappearing act. One second you're planning a whole group trip, the next you’re off-grid in Costa Rica on a soul quest. No warning. Just a vague Instagram caption and a blurry hammock selfie.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Cap, you overdo the hustle. You turned your hobby into a side hustle, your side hustle into a business, and now you’re networking at a baby shower. Relax. No one’s trying to buy your LLC at brunch.
Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Aquarius, you overdo the weird takes. You’ll argue that forks are a social construct and wear mismatched socks “for the vibes.” Your brain lives on Tumblr in 2013 and we love that for you... mostly.
Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
Pisces, you overdo the spiraling. You misread one text and now you’ve imagined 37 worst-case scenarios, written a poem, and consulted your birth chart. Take a breath, baby fish. It was just “K” with a period.