♈️ Aries (March 21 - April 19) – The Impatient One
Lowkey mad the meeting even exists. If it lasts more than 10 minutes, they’re already mentally checked out and planning an escape route. Might start a side convo just to speed things up.
♉️ Taurus (April 20 - May 20) – The Snack Goblin
Didn’t bring a notebook, but did bring a snack. Will 100% be munching on something the entire time. Also, why are meetings never catered? Asking for a friend.
♊️ Gemini (May 21 - June 20) – The Over-Talker
Started answering the question but somehow ended up on a wild tangent about their weekend plans. Still talking even though everyone is zoning out. Will absolutely say, “Oh wait, one more thing—” at least five times.
♋️ Cancer (June 21 - July 22) – The Silent Observer
Taking detailed notes but only speaking if directly called on. Lowkey knows everyone’s drama based on their body language. If the meeting gets tense, they’re already preparing their “Are you okay?” texts.
♌️ Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) – The Meeting Main Character
Came prepared with ideas, a PowerPoint, and a vision. Will absolutely say, “Let’s circle back to my point.” Lives for the rare moment when the boss says, “That’s a great idea, Leo.”
♍️ Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) – The Spreadsheet Overlord
Already sent a meeting agenda last night. Has a color-coded spreadsheet ready to go. Secretly judging everyone who clearly didn’t prepare. Will sigh dramatically when things go off track.
♎️ Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) – The Peacemaker
Will compliment literally anything to keep the vibes good. “Oh my gosh, I love that idea!” even if the idea is trash. Might spend the whole meeting deciding where to go for lunch instead.
♏️ Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) – The Mysterious Silent One
Hasn’t said a word the entire time, but is definitely analyzing everyone’s every move. Will deliver a single, devastatingly smart comment at the very end that makes everyone rethink their life choices.
♐️ Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) – The Chaotic One
Somehow late to the Zoom meeting. Didn’t read the agenda but is throwing out wild suggestions. “Okay, hear me out: what if we just… didn’t have this meeting?”
♑️ Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) – The Corporate Overachiever
Takes the meeting way too seriously. Already emailed a follow-up before it even ends. If the boss says, “Any volunteers?” Capricorn’s hand is already up.
♒️ Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) – The Skeptic
Hates every idea but won’t suggest a better one. Responds to everything with “Hmm… interesting” but never elaborates. Probably doodling conspiracy theories in their notebook.
♓️ Pisces (Feb 19 - March 20) – The Daydreamer
Nodding along like they’re listening, but fully thinking about what to order for dinner. Will randomly ask, “Wait, what are we talking about?” 40 minutes into the meeting.